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Overwhelmed and frustrated was what I was. Life had become a blur. A career that I have once loved had devolved into a recurring cycle of drudgery. Instead of serving them with joy, meeting the basic needs of my family now filled me with contempt. Even attending church was becoming a chore.
Every day ended with me counting down the minutes until I could sign off. But my relief didn’t last long when I realized that I’d have to head for the kitchen immediately to start dinner if I was going to make it to church on time.
I’m not sure when it happened. I used to be so in love with God but now my relationship with Him seemed filled with frustration. In fact, every area of my life seemed filled with frustration.
My life was hectic and I was constantly overwhelmed in my roles as mom, daughter, church member and in my oftentimes demanding career as a software developer. What was going on?
Somewhere along the
Somewhere along the line, I began to believe that I had to do all these things to please Jesus and if I didn’t I would fail Him.
I thought I had to do it all. And I tried… and then I broke. I burnt out.
I had just turned 40 and I cried out to God, “Lord, there MUST be more to life than this!” I had entered a wilderness season where I didn’t recognize my relationship with my family, my work or my God. I barely even recognized myself.
I came to the end of me. And then I met God… all over again.
One Sunday as I was worshiping in church I heard someone call God “Daddy” and I realized that even though I had given my life to Jesus many years before, I didn’t really know God as a Father. I couldn’t relate to God as Daddy. So I asked Jesus to take me to the Father.
That was the beginning of an indescribable journey with my Heavenly Father. It was a journey to a place where He showed me how much he loved me and how that would never, ever change. A journey to a place where I could abandon myself to him in total surrender, even knowing that there were things in me that still needed to be fixed, because it wouldn’t change the way He saw me.
It as a journey where He showed me who I really was. Who I was created to be and all that I was created to do. A journey where I suddenly began to see others as He saw them and so was able to begin loving them as He loved them, wanting them to come to know this God as Father and find their true identity like I had.
This journey was to a place where His Perfect Love dwells, a place where He is inviting us all to dwell. Here are 5 things He wants you to know about His Perfect Love.
‘”For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. ‘John 3:16
When God created man, He did it with the full knowledge of the possibility that man could one day reject Him and His plans for Him. He created man so that He could have a relationship, someone to love. But a love forced is no love at all. Still, God made a choice to love Man forever and has never changed His mind.
God is Love. God is Eternal. Therefore love is eternal. God’s love is eternal. When He says it endures forever He really does mean forever. He’s never going to stop loving you.
There is nothing that you can do to make Him love you more and there is nothing you can do to make Him love you less. You can never be good enough to force Him to love you more or bad enough that He will write you off and stop loving you.
You may make choices that He doesn’t agree with but like a good parent, it won’t stop Him from loving you.
‘ fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’Isaiah 41:10
When you understand that there is nothing you can do to change the way that God feels for you, then you are able to surrender all that you are… the good AND the bad. I’m not sure why we find it so hard to do this. God sees all that we are anyway, we might as well hand it over to Him. I truly do believe that that is what it means to fully surrender to God.
When I came to this place I said to Him, “Here Father, take it all, the good and the bad. Use what you can and fix the rest.” It was the most freeing thing I have done in entire my life. I exposed all that I was to Him, holding nothing back and He did not reject me.
He did not say, “No, you have to go and fix ‘ his’ and come back.” He said, “Come my child, don’t be afraid. I am right here beside you. I am your God. I’ll strengthen you and I’ll take you by the hand and I will help you. I will lift you up with my victorious right hand.” Isa 41:10 (paraphrase)
‘And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind …” ‘Luke 10:27
When I began to understand the depth of God’s Love for me, I suddenly no longer lived in fear of displeasing Him, of not being good enough or of not doing enough for Him. I knew I could never do that.
Know that God’s love for you will never change. His Perfect Love will cast out all your fears of not being good enough. You will begin to believe that you are able to do what He has called you to do. You will begin to love Him with every fiber of your being. With all your heart, mind, soul and strength (Luke 10:27).
In His Perfect Love, you will live from a place where you serve Him, not out of fear of punishment but because you understand how much He loves you and you never want to break His heart.
‘ Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.’Psalm 139:16
The moment I surrendered to God, I gave Him permission to show me all that He had in store for me, to make me into a new creature. I was no longer afraid that and I was disqualified because there were things in my life that I needed to fix first.
I trusted Him to fix those things and let Him teach me how to use the things that could be used now. If I had waited until everything was just right I would never have started this blog.
He began to show me all that He had written in my book when He created me (Ps 139:16) and for the first time in my life I felt as though I knew why I was sent to this earth. I knew that I had purpose, a unique purpose, something that only I could do because it was what I was created to do.
“…, and your neighbor as yourself.” ‘Luke 10:27
As I began to walk in this new place of surrender and worship, it began to take over ever aspect of my life. Suddenly, evangelism was a hundred times easier because I wanted EVERYBODY to know how much He loved them.
I wanted them to know that no matter what they had done, His love had never changed for them. I wanted them to know that when He created them, He created them for a special purpose, one that no one else could fulfill and He had already given them all they needed to become who they were created them to be.
I wanted them to know that there was hope in a loving God who would take them by the hand and first show them who He was and then show them who they were meant to be.
When we live from a place of God’s Perfect Love we are able to accept His unconditional love and surrender all that we are to Him. We find our true identity and only then are we able to truly live the two greatest commandments. To love God with all that we are, with all our heart, soul, strength and mind and to love our neighbors as ourselves.
Have you found the Perfect Love of the Father? If you don’t know Him, open your heart and ask Him to come in. Even if you’re not sure that He exists, tell Him that you want to know Him and He will show Himself to you (that’s the promise of Jeremiah 29:13).
If you already know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, but don’t yet live in His Perfect Love, ask Jesus to take you to the Father.
Trust me, you won’t regret it. His Perfect Love is waiting for you with open arms.